The Most Challenging Behavior to Change
During my training, Dr. Lewandowski impressed upon me the understanding that the hardest of all behaviors to change was avoidance. Avoidance, he said, was self-reinforcing and it worked every time it was implemented successfully. Simply put, people who avoid things they dislike are rewarded by not having to endure the thing they are avoiding each and every time they successfully avoid it. Simple really. When things work, we continue to do them. Dr. Lewandowski also had a background in the gambling industry and frequently said that the most addictive things are those with an irregular and unpredictable reinforcement schedule. Like a slot machine, we find things most compelling when we are unsure which time we will get the pay out and which times we won’t. I never managed to reconcile these two beliefs against each other. What I have learned through experience is that he was correct about avoidance. Avoidance is a very hard behavior to treat because it has successfully served the client’s most fundamental survival instincts in the past. It’s hard to challenge a client to confront things that they find threatening when avoidance has kept them so safe in the past. An important step is to help the client begin to be less frightened of whatever it is they are avoiding. You also work to help the client better see and understand the consequences and harm that has been done to them through avoidance. Avoidance is a primary symptom in anxiety disorders, but most certainly exists to one degree or other among most every day people. Unlike so many symptoms we treat successfully today with medications, avoidance is best helped with psychotherapy. There is no pill to take this one on; you have to personally step up to the plate. A good therapist can be just the resource you need to assist and encourage you.