Experience and Achievement in Building Self Confidence
When I work with people who suffer from poor self esteem, many more times than not they tell me about a childhood in which they were criticized or sheltered. When studying how self-esteem develops, I looked first at my own personal early life experiences. I was not in sports but I was in Boy Scouts and I consider it one of the most formative of my life experiences. As a Boy Scout, I did dozens of things as a child that otherwise I would not have done. My troop was very active. I went camping, fishing, rafting and canoeing. We built fires and bridges. We hiked long distances in awful weather and we navigated ourselves safely home when lost. Back in those days we fired rifles and shot arrows with bows. We used knives and axes as essential tools and our leaders demanded responsible handling of these dangerous items that we were entrusted with. I swam a mile across a lake in summer camp. I was taught first aid and CPR in case somebody got hurt. I learned to sail boat and ski. Most of all, I learned that I could learn. After Boy Scouts I had a very “can do” attitude about many challenges in my life. Boy Scouts lacked the competitive element of sports that most other boys had, but it certainly confirmed my ability to confront and overcome obstacles. When you become accustomed to overcoming challenges, it’s easier to take on new ones. When you assume you can take on the next challenge and figure out the next problem, you generally have the confidence to do so. When I look at my childhood belongings, I don’t have a lot of trophies. The few I do have I can’t remember fully what they were for. What I do have however is a mental repertoire of things I had done as a child that taught me that I was capable of taking on the world. Many times, simply the experience of having “been there and done that” is better than all the therapy, coaching and trophies in the world. In my own clinical work I try hard to encourage my clients who have anxiety and self-esteem problems to try new things. Even small things at first that have no relation to the specific thing a client has anxiety or a poor self concept about can give a client a sense of general accomplishment and adventure which bolters self esteem. This shouldn’t be limited to people who have a “problem” with self esteem or anxiety. Every person’s confidence and self-image could likely benefit from experiencing a few new things in their life from time to time. You don’t have to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. It could be something as simple as a walk through an unfamiliar forest preserve or trying a new type of food. Each day our lives present us with the option to do the same old thing or to try something different. We don’t generally have to try that hard. Often opportunities to experience new things are handed to us on a silver platter and all we need to do is welcome them. Keep a look out for the next new experience opportunity that comes your way and take it.
The Less Talked About Mood Disorders. Do You Have One?
When people talk about mood disorders, Major Depression and Bipolar Disorder seem to get all the press. There is another mood disorder that often goes undiagnosed, untreated and even misdiagnosed. What I’m talking about is called Dysthymia. It’s a form of depression that is not quite as intense and lasts a very long time; at least two years. Many people suffer from it for their entire adult lifetimes. Many people who have Dysthymic Disorder do not think of themselves as seriously depressed, but rather as “frequently sad”. Research suggests that at any given time, nearly 3% of Americans actively suffer from Dysthymia. Many who experience Dysthymic Disorder suffer just a bit too little to seek help and instead suffer in silence. When Dysthymic clients do seek help, the symptoms are often interpreted and diagnosed as Major Depression instead. Because of misdiagnosis and people failing to seek help for Dysthymic disorder, that 3% prevalence figure I mentioned earlier may be much higher. The most common symptoms of Dysthymia are feeling of low self-esteem and low self worth. A very pessimistic outlook and feelings of hopelessness are also common. Like other mood disorders, a lack of energy and motivation along with sleep and appetite changes are common. Dysthymia is best characterized by a person who is “moody” and more days than not thinks badly of themselves, bemoans his or her life circumstance, feels undeserving of happiness and generally resigns themselves to “just being down all the time”.
There is an even less talked about mood disorder then Dysthymia. It’s called Cyclothymia. Much like Dysthymia is a lighter and longer duration version of Major Depression, Cyclothymia is a lighter and longer duration version of Bipolar disorder. People who suffer from Cyclothymia have the same long term down in the dumps experiences as a person suffering Dysthymia, but also have occasional “hypomanic” episodes. These episodes are generally enjoyable and the person experiences an elevated mood, unusual self confidence, drastic reductions of worry, fear or anxiety, grandiosity, flights of ideas, rushing thoughts and a boost in creativity. People experiencing a hypomanic episode and people witrnessing one often think of this period in a very positive way. Some who are diagnosed as cyclothymic are hesant to treat it because they do not want to be deprived of the hypomanic episodes that make them feel larger than life and super capable. Some speculate that many of histories most notable artists may have been cyclothymic, doing their greatest works during hypomanic episodes.
For any of you who think you may have either of these two problems, there is help out there for you. Contact a mental health profesional of your choice. Like Major Depression and Bipolar Disorder, both Cyclothymia and Dysthymia can be treated with psychotherapy and medications. Don’t be one of those who suffer in silence a little bit day by day. Help is out there in a myriad of forms.