Tips for a Better Night Sleep, part 1
One of the most common problems the average person experiences in life is a lack of sleep. Fortunately, recent studies indicate that more Americans have been getting much more adequate sleep over the past couple of years. Recent studies say that the current average is 48 hours a week. Hopefully this trend or better rest will continue.
The factor that most keeps people awake at night when lying in bed is that they are simply not “sleepy yet”. Not feeling ready to fall asleep at night is generally a good sign of being adequately rested. This is the biggest problem when an abnormality in a person’s schedule makes a person “have to go to sleep” at a time when they simply aren’t tired enough to do so. It’s very hard to go to sleep at 8 pm to wake up at 4 am when your body is accustomed to going to bed at 11 pm to wake at 7 am. There is a good chance you will simply sit in bed waiting to sleep until 11 pm anyhow and getting only 5 hours of sleep. Over the counter sleep aids are a great way to prepare for nights when our lives demand that we sleep when our bodies are not really ready. As always, it’s best to fully understand the medication warnings and consult with a doctor if you have any concerns or complicating factors.
The next greatest challenge to getting to sleep is active thought. Some people will say it’s anxiety and worry. They are not completely wrong; I am simply identifying a more basic root cause. Many people who lay awake at night do so because they are ruminating about something. Our brain does not do well in drifting off to sleep when we are engaging it in directed active cognitive processing. Not all thoughts that prevent sleep are negative thoughts. Enjoyable, happy thoughts can keep you awake as well. It’s not the specific content of the thoughts; it’s the active use of the brain that keeps it awake. People lay in bed worrying about money and relationships. People stay awake at night trying to figure a way out of this problem or that. People also stay awake at night musing over fun and interesting events of the day. They ponder how they should best spend vacation time or a bonus. Some even consider the odds of their favorite sports team taking home a championship this season. In addition to active thought keeping the mind in an alert state, many thoughts induce emotions that perpetuate additional dwelling on our interpersonal experience, which is not conducive to sleep. Emotional experiences trigger the release of endorphins that can energize or agitate us and prohibit us from drifting off to sleep. The secret to a good night sleep is letting the mind and it’s thoughts drift out of conscious control. Remember back in school when your teacher was talking, but you were staring off into space daydreaming? That very way of letting you mind drift off in what every way the subconscious chooses to take it is one of the best ways to begin getting to sleep sooner and getting more before the alarm clock goes off.
(More tips to follow in my next article.)
Experience and Achievement in Building Self Confidence
When I work with people who suffer from poor self esteem, many more times than not they tell me about a childhood in which they were criticized or sheltered. When studying how self-esteem develops, I looked first at my own personal early life experiences. I was not in sports but I was in Boy Scouts and I consider it one of the most formative of my life experiences. As a Boy Scout, I did dozens of things as a child that otherwise I would not have done. My troop was very active. I went camping, fishing, rafting and canoeing. We built fires and bridges. We hiked long distances in awful weather and we navigated ourselves safely home when lost. Back in those days we fired rifles and shot arrows with bows. We used knives and axes as essential tools and our leaders demanded responsible handling of these dangerous items that we were entrusted with. I swam a mile across a lake in summer camp. I was taught first aid and CPR in case somebody got hurt. I learned to sail boat and ski. Most of all, I learned that I could learn. After Boy Scouts I had a very “can do” attitude about many challenges in my life. Boy Scouts lacked the competitive element of sports that most other boys had, but it certainly confirmed my ability to confront and overcome obstacles. When you become accustomed to overcoming challenges, it’s easier to take on new ones. When you assume you can take on the next challenge and figure out the next problem, you generally have the confidence to do so. When I look at my childhood belongings, I don’t have a lot of trophies. The few I do have I can’t remember fully what they were for. What I do have however is a mental repertoire of things I had done as a child that taught me that I was capable of taking on the world. Many times, simply the experience of having “been there and done that” is better than all the therapy, coaching and trophies in the world. In my own clinical work I try hard to encourage my clients who have anxiety and self-esteem problems to try new things. Even small things at first that have no relation to the specific thing a client has anxiety or a poor self concept about can give a client a sense of general accomplishment and adventure which bolters self esteem. This shouldn’t be limited to people who have a “problem” with self esteem or anxiety. Every person’s confidence and self-image could likely benefit from experiencing a few new things in their life from time to time. You don’t have to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. It could be something as simple as a walk through an unfamiliar forest preserve or trying a new type of food. Each day our lives present us with the option to do the same old thing or to try something different. We don’t generally have to try that hard. Often opportunities to experience new things are handed to us on a silver platter and all we need to do is welcome them. Keep a look out for the next new experience opportunity that comes your way and take it.